BREAKING: Andrew MacDonald Wanted For Destruction Of Hitchbot

In yet another chapter in the long book of the classless atrocities carried out by Philadelphians, Flyers defenseman Andrew MacDonald has been named a suspect in the recent destruction of the hitchhiking robot HitchBot.

MacDonald emerged as a suspect after the following photograph surfaced late Sunday afternoon. The image appears to show MacDonald intentionally destroying the robot with his hockey stick.




Also consider the following tweet from Vincent Lecavalier as evidence that both him and MacDonald had planned to be involved with this disgusting crime.

Screen Shot 2015-08-02 at 6.19.03 PM


Also note that this tweet appears to be evidence of premeditated consumption of a cheesesteak with mayonnaise on it. Simply unacceptable.

For the Flyers, there is really only one choice here. These events constitute a material breach of contract in both cases, according to section 11, article 201.5 of the CBA, which states the following:

Players are to show the upmost respect for other players, officials, coaches, and beloved hitchhiking robots. Any player found to be violating this article will be subject to immediate and permanent expulsion from the NHL.

They should void both of the players’ contracts and part ways with them immediately.

The Flyers already set a terrible precedent when they failed to cut Claude Giroux last summer for butt grabbing. If they fail to act appropriately here, they are basically sending the message that ANYTHING is acceptable in this organization. The Flyers must act swiftly and decisively this time. Cut Andrew MacDonald and Vincent Lecavalier, and seek justice for Hitch Bot.

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