Comprehensive Analysis Of Flyers Coaching Candidates

With slightly over 6 weeks to go until the NHL draft, the Flyers are one of several franchises still looking for a new coach. Ron Hextall has made it clear that they would like to have a coach hired before the draft, meaning that the Flyers have about a month and a half to find their man. With this huge decision looming, it is crucial to evaluate each candidate thoroughly. Here, we will take a look at some of the important facts and pictures for some of the possible candidates.

DALLAS EAKINS

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Pros: Much better hair than Craig Berube, well defined jaw, embraces analytics.

Cons: Named after a bad city, could permanently contaminated by the the cesspool of incompetence that he was exposed to in Edmonton.

MIKE BABCOCK

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Pros: Will turn even the shittiest hockey team into a Stanley Cup contender within one week of taking over.

Cons: Might cost a lot of money. He also could be opposed to entire practices worth of shootout practice, which is what the Flyers need. Is rumored to like that horrible Uptown Funk song.

TODD MCLELLAN

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Pros: Experience in dealing with bad captains, so he could easily adjust to coaching Claude Giroux. Also might be able to bring John Scott over with him.

Cons: Specifically coaches teams to choke in the playoffs, is named ‘Todd’, doesn’t get angry and yell enough.

RANDY CARLYLE

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Pros: He isn’t dead, which is a good quality to have in a coach.

Cons: Literally every single other thing about him.

BENOIT GROULX

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Pros: Has the same haircut as Charlie Brown, which is pretty cool. His name would get misspelled consistently.

Cons: Looks like a newborn baby in distorted head photos, might go back to @juniors like Chip Kelly is going back to @college.

PETER DEBOER

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Pros: Teams excel at shot suppression.

Cons: Large forehead, is rumored to like bad condiments like mayonnaise, probably thinks that there is a Who song called ‘Teenage Wasteland’, nobody can testify as to where he was on the night Benghazi happened.

JEREMY ROENICK

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Pros: Is routinely right in his analysis.

Cons: Would trade Sean Couturier 11 minutes after being hired, thinks that avocados are bad for you, is wrong about nearly everything.

Lets us know in the comments who you think should be the next coach of the Flyers!

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