Half-Assessment Week 12: Eagles at Lions

Image via Detroit Lions

Image via Detroit Lions


You might notice that this one is a little late. Well, the Eagles don’t deserve a post that goes up right away. Holy hell, just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, it got worse. The Eagles got destroyed on Thanksgiving by the score of 45-14. If the Eagles let up 45 points one more time, I think they win a free pizza at Papa John’s.


Blehhhhhhhhh, they didn’t do anything. Mark Sanchez posted a mediocre stat line of 19/27 for 2 touchdowns and 0 picks. Of course, that leaves out the fact that he absorbed 6 sacks and fumbled the ball once.

The Birds’ ground game was awful, with DeMarco Murray and Kenjon Barner both rushing for 30 yards. Murray did happen to have twice as many carries as Barner. Things are going real well for Murray in Philadelphia! How’s Ryan Mathews feeling?

The receivers didn’t do a ton. Jordan Matthews led the pack with 3 receptions for 60 yards and a touchdown, but that score came in garbage time. For a good chunk of the game, Trey Burton was actually the Eagles’ leading receiver. Hahahaha oh god why.

There’s no way the Eagles should have only scored 14 points against this Lions defense. They’re actually in the bottom rung of the points allowed per game crowd. Watch as this season continues to circle the drain.


Another week, another dam broken up. Like the legendary Jameis Winston last week, Matthew Stafford had a monster 5 touchdown day against the Eagles. Poor Eric Rowe had to get thrown into the mix after Nolan Carroll broke his leg early in the game. Normally, this wouldn’t have been the catastrophe it was on Turkey Day, but the Lions have this guy by the name of Calvin Johnson.

Megatron feasted on Rowe and the weakened Birds’ secondary, catching 8 balls for 93 yards and 3 touchdowns. Ouch. The Lions didn’t do a ton on the ground, their leading rusher was Ameer Abdullah with 63 yards on 16 attempts. They didn’t have to do squat with Stafford tearing things up in the air. It’s a rough day when you have no interest in watching your favorite team on Thanksgiving by the time halftime hits.

Next Week

The Eagles travel to New England to take on the 10-1 Patriots and oh my god can we just call this off in advance? This is cruel and unusual punishment. Make it stop.

The one thing in the Birds’ favor is that the Pats will most likely be missing Rob Gronkowski. Still, Tom Brady will probably kick the Eagles’ asses all over the place with what he has. That’s just what he does. Danny Amendola missed the last game and will mostly likely be back. Brandon LaFell has been effective during his time in New England.

Simply put, if you’re going to miss an Eagles game this year, make it this one. The Patriots should probably be favored by 50. How many more weeks are left?


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